Late night deep talks :D

spoke to sai late monday night. and got a huuuuge lecture. on everything. called her to talk about the drama that is currently my life and all the other shit and she replied by telling me to shut up and listen to her. which is what i ended up doing. and she lectured me about how i have no confidence, so self-esteem, and keep degrading myself. and then proceeded to tell me that a frikkin B in chem and math wouldnt kill me and i will still get into the UC colleges because taking chem honors and alg 2/trig at the same time is the worst combination on earth. wish i could believe that. and then she told me to stop whining. haha. i know i whine a lot. like, A LOT. i think during the tennis season, while we were changing in the locker room, shravya once told me "hanisha. stop whining." too. so im gonna try to be more cheerful, more happy and less whiny. =)
and then we talked about how innocent i was in 7th grade. i really was. i wouldn't even say "stupid" and then come 8th grade and hema and shruti corrupted me. so we talked about that and the notebooks!!! unforgettable memories. and that whole conversation really made me realize how much i had changed as a person.
7th grade: shy and innocent
8th grade: super crazy, super retarded, and in my own world
9th grade: a whole learning experience and making mistakes and learning about true friendship
10th grade: just realizing how bad those mistakes actually were. and whining about them and being depressed and sad. most of this year was whining actually. haha.

but i changed so frikking much. maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. think i learnt some stuff along the way, maybe even became more mature(which is impossible), and just in general became more aware of everything. made more complicated decisions that i really didn't want to make but was forced to. realized what life was.


--Hanisha